As I was growing up, I always wondered whether my siblings would get psoriasis. None of them ever developed this disease. Since we were sisters, I thought maybe they might get it too. Many times, I found myself looking at their faces, arms, and legs—but to no avail: no psoriasis, no symptoms. How could this be? That was my million-dollar question. After all, we shared the same mother and father.
Years later, I discovered that my sister and I shared something in common—an autoimmune disease. Interestingly, they were different autoimmune diseases. I have psoriatic arthritis and psoriasis, while she has rheumatoid arthritis. Both are autoimmune conditions.
Coping Skills We Share
When we were kids and I was covered head to toe with this disease, kids would point and make fun of me. My sister would hug me and say she loved me.
Over the years, we have talked with family and friends together about our conditions and what we need from them. We also found out that we both needed positive people in our lives to help us feel good about ourselves and to be honest with others about our physical and emotional health.
For over 30 years, my sister has called me every single day to check on me and make sure I’m not overdoing it. As I’ve gotten older, she calls even more often. She reminds me to simplify tasks and prioritize commitments. One thing she said over 20 years ago that still stays with me is: “Don’t judge yourself.” I don’t.
We share conversations about our pain. It affects us differently, but we both know inflammation is a big part of it. I feel pain in my legs, back, and arms, while she may have pain in other parts of her body. Sharing coping strategies helps us learn from each other.
It’s comforting to have a sister dialogue about autoimmune disease, especially on challenging days. Sometimes our views differ, but it’s always great to have that connection.
Differences in Our Autoimmune Diseases
You might think arthritis is a single condition, but there are many types caused by different factors. Both psoriatic arthritis (PsA) and rheumatoid arthritis (RA) can be very painful and both involve the immune system—yet they are different and need unique treatments.
- Psoriatic arthritis is related to psoriasis, where the immune system causes skin cells to turn over too quickly. PsA brings pain, stiffness, and swelling in the joints.
- Rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune condition where the immune system attacks the lining of the joints, causing pain and inflammation in the hands, feet, wrists, elbows, and ankles.
Because we have different autoimmune diseases, we don’t share the same medications.
We have learned that having autoimmune disease does not define us. It has helped us become better people, better sisters, better mothers, and overall stronger. We agree that our diseases are not who we are.
I’m grateful we grew up with strong morals we still live by today: complaining never helps, make the best of what you have, be grateful because someone is always worse off, and treat others the way you want to be treated.
Advantages
It’s all in the family. Traveling together has been a blessing for both of us. Sometimes we attend conferences that are informative and supportive.
Having a sibling with an autoimmune disease has more advantages than disadvantages.
- We both understand what pain is like.
- We know what it means to take medication and get treatment.
- When one of us calls to say, “I’m not having a good day,” it’s no big deal—we simply understand.
Sharing our story has allowed us to support and inspire others. Though we face daily struggles, our upbringing and connection help us navigate them.
We are one year apart and share the same birthday month. It doesn’t surprise me that we both have autoimmune diseases. It has been an advantage, with many pros over cons.
Looking on the Bright Side
Whether you and your sibling share the same autoimmune disease—or any type of illness—look on the bright side.
You will always have something to talk about because it’s all in the family.