What would my life look like if I were a tortoise with psoriatic arthritis? This is a story where my imagination has to really come into play. As children, we fantasize about so many things—we can be anything we want. But as adults living with a chronic disease, we rarely stop to imagine which creature we might identify with.
There are days when I’m in a low place, and my mind drifts, just for a few precious moments, to wonder: what if?
What If I Was A Tortoise?
If I were a tortoise with psoriatic arthritis and psoriasis, I imagine living in the desert. The climate would be extremely hot and the air very dry—perfect for my psoriasis and PsA.
I would spend my days basking in the sun. My shell would protect me from all the elements. I wouldn’t worry about the weather or have to rush anywhere. I would move slow, just creeping along, and my body would say, thank you!
I hear someone calling out from across the way, but I’m not worried. They can’t come into my world or shatter my self-confidence or self-esteem through my shell.
Strength Inside and Out
I haven’t always had self-confidence. I used to miss school because of doctor appointments or just being plain tired. I wouldn’t feel bad about failing every drug I’ve been on over the years. Still, I would be happy because my shell is protecting me.
If I were a tortoise with this disease, I’d likely live to be over 100 years old. My legs would be strong, and I could climb hills all day long with ease. I wouldn’t have to endure the seasons of winter, spring, summer, or fall—I’d just be in a hot climate all year.
I see myself now, covering my body with my shell so no one could detect my psoriasis. I’d flex my strong legs, hiding my psoriatic arthritis from the world. I’d eat from the earth and do what tortoises do.
Living With Psoriatic Arthritis
I have flared up so badly over the years that my husband had to become my caregiver. There were times when I couldn’t bathe or use the bathroom on my own.
My family tried to understand, but they don’t fully get it. They can only imagine what I’m going through. My friends stopped coming around. But I am so thankful that I can hide in my shell like a tortoise—it’s safe in here.
A Lesson From The Tortoise
I believe sometimes with a chronic condition, it’s good to use our imagination and think: “What if?”
In this fast-paced world, people rush to doctors, stores, work, meetings, and more. Wouldn’t it be sweet to be like a tortoise, moving slow and taking your good old time?
The longer I live with psoriatic arthritis, the more I feel like Mr. Tortoise. I take my time getting things done. It’s a big deal for those of us with PsA—we need plenty of rest and relaxation. Sometimes, slow motion is necessary. Our joints have a mind of their own.
When I first get out of bed, I know I must take it easy and not rush.
No Shell, But Not Alone
Yes, it would be nice to have a hard shell protecting my fragile skin and feelings, but unfortunately, that’s not possible.
Just remember, there is someone out there going through the same thing you are. As I’ve said a million times: you are not alone on this journey.
Final Thoughts
I’ve come to realize we shouldn’t take life so seriously. Use your imagination sometimes and have a little fun.
Yes, there will be days when you feel cornered, but better days will come. It won’t be easy, but find someone who understands what you’re going through.
As for me, I have had psoriatic arthritis for 25 years but wasn’t diagnosed until 10 years ago—and psoriasis for 55 years. I give myself permission to say, “What if?”