Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming experience. For those living with a chronic illness like psoriasis or psoriatic arthritis, grief can take a toll not just emotionally but physically as well. The emotional weight of loss can lead to increased stress, which in turn can trigger flare-ups and worsen symptoms.
The Day My Life Changed Forever
On the day my child died, I was on a road trip with my aunt and grandmother. When I returned home, I had to rush my baby girl to the hospital—she had passed away from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). My life changed in an instant.
Thankfully, my friends and family stepped in to support me. They:
- Washed my clothes and took care of my home.
- Helped with my two small boys, who were just 2 and 3 years old at the time.
- Sat with me, held my hand, and guided me through planning the arrangements.
- Made sure I didn’t have to make difficult decisions alone.
In those heartbreaking moments, I learned how powerful true friendship can be during a crisis.
The Lasting Impact of Grief
Years have passed, and while the sharp pain of loss has dulled, it never truly fades. Recently, I lost both a niece and a nephew within eight months of each other, reigniting the familiar ache of grief.
Through these experiences, I have learned:
- Grief teaches you to cherish true friendships and avoid unnecessary drama.
- Toxic people can cloud the light that real friends bring into your life.
- Focusing on those who uplift and support you is essential to healing.
How Grief Affects Psoriasis and Chronic Illness
Grief doesn’t just affect emotions—it impacts physical health, too. After experiencing loss, I noticed:
- My psoriasis symptoms worsened.
- My psoriatic arthritis flared up, leading to more pain and inflammation.
- Stress from grief made my immune system overreact, triggering a flare.
My doctor explained that grief can cause a physiological response in the body, increasing inflammation and making chronic illnesses harder to manage. This is why self-care and emotional support are crucial during times of loss.
Finding Meaning Through Loss
Despite its pain, grief has given me perspective. It has taught me to:
- Value the people who truly care for me.
- Deepen my connections with friends and family.
- Focus on the things that matter most in life.
One unexpected blessing came after losing my nephew—I gained back a daughter. His wife, whom I had lost touch with, re-entered my life, bringing light during my darkest moments.
Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving
If you know someone who is grieving, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Check in more than once. A single call or card isn’t enough—grief lasts longer than a few weeks.
- Don’t expect immediate responses. Grieving people often don’t have the energy to reply, but knowing you care matters.
- Be present. Sometimes, just sitting with someone in silence is more powerful than words.
Grief is something we all face at some point, and no one should go through it alone. If you are struggling, reach out to someone you trust. And if you know someone who is grieving, simply being there can make all the difference.
We are all in this together.
I just wanted to add that a good health advocate is someone who knows you well and is calm, organized, assertive, and comfortable asking questions. The most important thing is choosing someone you respect and can trust to be both discreet and caring.
Grief is a universal human experience, a natural and complex emotional response to loss. It’s a process that can be triggered by the death of a loved one, but also by other significant life changes such as the end of a relationship, job loss, or the loss of a cherished dream.
Great article